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QUESTION: I also work in a mental institution, and I am having a problem with the doctor who runs the unit. She finds it hard to get along with me, because although I am the head nurse, I am not the bossy type, the kind that gives a lot of orders without understanding what is going on. So she gets very angry. I don't return the anger, I just walk off, because I know eventually she is going to shout and scream. BAWA MUHAIYADDEEN: Tell the doctor, "Those who have no wisdom and those who have destroyed their brains come to this hospital. Since they have no wisdom and since they are living here, we must be like parents who have given birth to children without wisdom. We have accepted responsibility for the problems that their parents failed to treat or cure. We have taken on a responsibility which even their parents refused to take. Therefore, we need to show even greater love and peacefulness than parents would. We have accepted the responsibility of being like parents who are prepared to dedicate their entire lives to their children. So, rather than showing them anger, we must show them love. Only then will they reach clarity and feel comfort." Tell the doctor, "Love will comfort the patients as well as ourselves. If we are angry when we are trying to help mentally ill patients, their illness will only grow worse. First their fear must leave them. Because of things that happened to them when they were young, they live in fear and anxiety that these things will happen again. And that fear and anxiety are worse than the illness itself. So, we must treat them in such a way that their fear will disappear. Then we must feed them with compassion so that their awareness can awaken. Within that awareness, they can try to find love and learn to show that love to us. Once they have that love, we can treat them with love and that treatment will cure them." Tell her, "We both must be like parents who are prepared to make sacrifices in order to see that children's lives are corrected. Even though you are a doctor and have learned a great deal, it is still important to show the qualities you would exercise in safe-guarding a child." Tell her that you had these qualities even when you were young and that is why you show kindness now. And ask her to forgive you if there is a fault in you. Tell her, "You are a very learned person, a great person. Please forgive me." You can also mention that a few years ago you met someone with great love and devotion for God, who told you that mental patients should be treated with compassion and love. If she insists in knowing his name, then say, "It was Bawa Muhaiyaddeen who told me this, and his advice penetrated my heart." Muhaiyaddeen, M.R. Bawa. Questions of Life – Answers of Wisdom Volume 1. Philadelphia: Fellowship Press, 1991. 100-101.
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